Real Estate QUOTES                       Back to Jokes

"There's nothing for a case of nerves that a case of beer won't help." Anonymous

"If you aren't working for your goals, you are working for someone else's goals."

"This reminds me of my African safari. Somebody lost the corkscrew opener and we had to survive on just food and water for two whole weeks." WC Fields

"I have simple tastes. I only like the best of anything." Oscar Wilde

"Goals just point us in a direction. Visualization can create the inner experience for our manifestation. Something will become a reality when our minds are made up to do it, and take the appropriate action to make it happen." Anonymous

"Every man is the architect of his own future." Goethe

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel." Carl W. Buechner

"Luck is a word we use to explain the good fortune of those we don't like."  Anonymous

"Great discoveries and inventions arise from the observations of little things." Alexander Graham Bell

"Depression is just anger without enthusiasm." Anonymous

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness never bought a puppy." Gene Hill

"Experience is what you get when you're looking for something else."

"Honesty is telling the truth to others. Integrity is telling the truth to ourselves." Spencer Johnson

"Face reality as it is, not as it was, or as you wish it were. Be candid with everyone. Don't manage, lead. Change before you have to. If you don't have a competitive advantage, don't compete. Control your own destiny, or someone else will." Jack Welch, CEO of GE

"We've all heard that you are what you eat- it's the same thing with your mind, so be careful. You become what you picture in your mind."

"Always bring out the positives in any situation and the situtation itself will become more positive."

"The softer and gentler one is led, the farther the person will follow because it feels good every step of the way!"

"Most people agree with the person who keeps his mouth shut."   Mark Twain

"Ideas are such funny things. They don't work unless you do."

"Scientists say we are what we eat. Nuts must be a commoner diet than we had thought."

"The only failure lies in failure to start."   Harold Blake Walker

"Avoiding danger is not safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."   Helen Keller

"Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right!"   Henry Ford

"I'm running down a dream. It would never would come to me. Working on a mystery. Going wherever it leads. Running down a dream."   Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

"The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."  George Bernard Shaw

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his own dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."   Henry David Thoreau

"There is nothing capricious in nature, and the implanting of a desire indicates that it's gratification is in the constitution of the creature that feels it."   Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ten Famous Football Quotes Often Used in Real Estate Sales

1. “Do right. Do your best. Treat others as you want to be treated.”
--Lou Holtz


2. “Without self-discipline, success is impossible, period.”
--Lou Holtz


3. “I learned that if you want to make it bad enough, no matter how bad it is, you can make it.”
--Gale Sayers


4. “Build up your weaknesses until they become your strong points.”
--Knute Rockne


5. “Show class, have pride, and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself.”
--Paul "Bear" Bryant


6. “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.”
--Vince Lombardi


7. “The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer.”
--John Madden


8. “If a team is to reach its potential, each player must be willing to subordinate his personal goals to the good of the team.”
--Bud Wilkinson


9. “Football is an honest game. It's true to life. It's a game about sharing. Football is a team game. So is life.”
--Joe Namath


10. “Winning isn't everything, but it beats anything that comes in second.”
--Paul "Bear" Bryant

 Murphy's Laws for Real Estate

1. Your best tenant will get a job transfer during the worst rental market of the decade.

2. When a tenant attempts to fix the leaky faucet himself, expect to not only replace the faucet but the entire plumbing system too.

3. When a tenant's furnace breaks down in winter, or the air conditioning in summer, it's always the most expensive part that will need to be replaced.

4. When the tenant from across town needs something to be repaired quickly, the hardware store will close five minutes before you get there.

5. A tenant's uncanny ability to see dirt and damage will be much greater when they move in than when they move out.

6. The working components of a rental home (heating,cooling,electrical, plumbing, dishwasher, garbage disposal, doorbell and refrigerator) will break down 90% faster on the rental than the working components of your own home.

7.When a tenant calls and says "Hi, how's it going?" you know that something is drastically wrong.

8. When a tenant claims to "love gardening" it means that they are fond of gardens found in books, movies and maybe the Sahara desert but not your particular rental property.

9. The sweet little girl with the baby you rented your house to will always have an abusive boyfriend, and their loud, passionate lovemaking at night, nasty quarrels and screamfests will be the talk of the neighborhood.

10. Proper disposal of two quarts of bacon grease for a tenant is always down the kitchen sink.